One distinct memory I have of growing up was of me playing at being a teacher. I would give my little brother “assignments” and then grade them with big red check marks. I particularly liked the part where I got to make check marks. I practiced writing check marks and was skilled in whipping off a flurry of them when I graded his work. In my mind the use of the red check mark was a sure sign that I was a teacher. Thankfully, my perspective of teaching has changed a bit since then. Writing red check marks just doesn’t cut it anymore. While teaching is more than just grading, the truth is that grading is part of work of a teacher. Good grading is about giving useful feedback that if heeded the student can use to improve and grow in their understanding of whatever it is they are learning. It’s about measuring progress to determine what a student has learned and what I, the teacher, have not yet taught effectively. It is an important part of the teaching process as much as the student and teacher may wish otherwise.
The same is true in our journey towards spiritual maturity. Every once in a while, it is worth the time and effort to evaluate our progress. We need to grade ourselves or ask someone we trust for feedback. We need to look honestly at ourselves and ask some revealing and tough questions. How am I doing? How have I changed for the better? What area still needs some work? Where am I getting a passing grade? Where am I not? How could I do something better? Do I need to get rid of something or address a particular issue? We need to reflect on our lives and experiences and evaluate them in order to grow. A wise teacher once told me that without thoughtful reflection any experience is just that – an experience; but with thoughtful reflection an experience becomes a learning opportunity that can change your life.
I’ve learned along the way, however, that reflection and evaluation needs to be done in conversation with the Holy Spirit. He’s the one who is leading me on my spiritual journey toward Christlikeness. His feedback is most important. Otherwise, voices of condemnation and shame can overwhelm and be destructive rather than constructive and I end up missing the whole point which is continued growth, not discouragement. Learning to recognize the Holy Spirit’s conviction and encouragement keeps God’s love and grace in view. My worth in his eyes is not dependent on how well I do. Rather, my worth is in the fact that I am His creation, a daughter of the Almighty God in heaven, who gave His Son for me so that I could become all that he created me to be through the power of His Holy Spirit for His glory! A little grading and some constructive feedback will not change that. It will only help me move forward on this journey towards all that God has for me.